The Ant

 

Song:  Love Theme From Twin Peaks

Composer / Performer:  Angelo Badalamenti

Fairy Tales...

are not to brushed aside as stories of worthless fantasies...

designed to merely entertain children.

They are of basic truths of human nature...

as derived from real life experiences over long periods of time.

And...

it was through general pattern matching

that cause and effect had been determined time and again...

and so...

had been designed to give highly valuable life lessons to children

so they could pattern their lives in accordance with the basic paths to walk in life...

which would lead them to successful and happy lives in the long run.

These truths are merely in a fantasy setting to engage young minds...

to help mold their futures in a manner which is highly palatable...

and so...

are easily remembered and applied

(through modeling...a natural process of emulation).

Of these fables...

I think...

The Ant and the Grasshopper is the most valuable.

It demonstrates the differing lives of two opposing lifestyles...

and the ultimate manifestation of the underlying psychological concepts of:

Deferred Gratification (the Ant)...

vs...

Immediate Gratification (the Grasshopper).

I need not go into the various long term studies conducted

verifying what had already been established over time

through observation and general pattern matching done 

throughout all civilizations over time...

since the beginning of time...

as the skills of seeing things happen time and again

and simply doing what works...

and not doing that which does not work...

are basic skills of intelligence inherent in all of us.

Fairy Tales...

however...

are the culmination of wisdom through which

give succeeding generations a head start...

so they needn't spend years on the wrong paths...

and instead...

propel them to a better future.

It is simply learning from the learned...

as had been proven time and again.

And...

this is important...

it is through generalization that we may apply basic concepts 

to multiple areas of our lives all at once...

and for all time.

And...

it is through the movies of our minds that paths in life 

are played out to their ultimate endings.

This is how we distinguish between true and false paths in life.

And...

a check on the paths walked is not only an absence of anxiety...

but that of a feeling of serenity...

of freedom.

The below pictures are merely an example of my deep inner happiness

as derived from just the many great simple pleasures of life.

These are recent photos of my home area as I took simple country drives

into the nearby town of Cripple Creek to enjoy very simple...

but deeply satisfying meals.

To greatly enjoy the views...

of passing wildlife...

of the clouds...

of the very refreshing air deeply breathed...

of the freedom felt while driving...

of the deep pleasure of playing favorite music...

of reliving magical experiences...

and of looking forwards to having many more...

is to know you are on the right path in life.

It is to be at peace with the past...

living with great anticipation for the future...

and so...

of being able to live fully in the moment.

However...

the hidden trap which lay in our own minds is our ability to fool ourselves.

It is to falsely equate freedom of anxiety...

and that of immediate comfort...

especially when artificially induced either through

pharmaceutical or other drugs...

legal or otherwise...

or simply by unjustifiably "living in the moment" (Hippie style)

without regard for the future...

of sailing out onto the ocean without regard to the storm clouds on the horizon...

by pretending they don't exist...

instead of clearing the storm clouds by adequately preparing for the future...

thereby shortcutting the warning bells which should be sounding

to drive you towards walking the path of living for the future.

This is not to say that one cannot live in the moment...

that one cannot live fully by experiencing the great simple pleasures of life

before your future has been properly set up...

but the key component is that the path to it is actively being walked.

If you allow yourself to lie to yourself...

you betray yourself and the future you could have had.

Life is not mostly about aptitude...

but one of mostly attitude.

-----------

The flute playing in the above song tells the story of a properly set up and lived life

(in my mind).

The initial constant thrumming of the bass...

along with the steady repeating melody of the flute...

and the accompanying piano notes softly playing in support...

represents the unknown of young childhood...

of simply observing and making connections as to the meaning of life...

and to the child's place in it...

in his own mind

(thereby erasing the fear of the unknown...

and replacing it with the spirit of adventure).

As the pace picks up...

and the flute begins its ascension...

its gentle flight to the clouds...

with the piano notes playing its heavenly arpeggios

and otherwise repeating patterns in support of the flute's flight of fancy...

 tells me of the realization of a young child who sees his future...

and the path he will walk towards it

(understanding the necessity of the path of the ant).

As the flute begins its descension back to Earth...

and the pattern of steady thrumming begins anew...

it is of the child grown and entering the grind of his profession...

knowing it will all be worth it in the end...

as he experiences the flow of life...

until...once again...

he feels the resurgence of the pace...

and of the reascension of hope as he nears retirement...

as the flute once again reascends to the clouds...

and he lives loving life fully in retirement...

and as the music decrescendos one final time...

it is of his life living in the complete happiness of old age...

as the pace of life slows and he reminisces of all of the magical times...

accompanied by the slowing and final thrumming of the bass being his final heartbeat...

and the solo of the flute is of him dying in complete serenity...

at peace with himself and the world...

in the final moments before death overtakes him.

-----------

Too much?

No...

I don't think so.

It is because people don't think honestly enough about death

that they fail to take life seriously enough.

Life is the sonata we compose and play.

Our lives may be discordant...

or may be the magnum opus worthy of having lived.

It all starts and ends with our initial choice of living life...

as the ant...

or that of the grasshopper.

The other day...

I just drove into my nearby town to try a previously untried restaurant...

and, as always...

I enjoyed the drive there and back as much as the meal itself.

To be able to just enjoy simple meals...

as well as the drive to and from there...

is to enjoy life itself.

As I...

and my wife...

have lived the life of the ants...

our profound enjoyment of life will just continue to grow and deepen...

for we not only have everything in which to look forwards...

but we will always look at our experiences through the eyes of great appreciation...

for we had lived a life of necessary sacrifice...

which makes all of life so much sweeter.

And while the distance to the finish line and the pacing of growth

depends heavily on what and with how much we start out...

the path is the same for us all.

The path of...

The Ant...

is always the correct choice.

It has always been the song of the ages.

The Ring

 

Song:    Comfortably Numb (Pulse Concert)

Group:  Pink Floyd

As promised...

The Ring.

After having had written the last article...

I realized there is a movie titled...

The Ring.

Although I haven't seen it...

from the trailer...

I can only surmise it involved a predatory apparition appearing out of...

what is normally considered to be...

an enjoyable form of entertainment in the safety of one's own home 

(A TV set).

I assure you...

especially in the context of this article...

it was not a Freudian Slip.

This article refers to an actual physical ring...

mine...

of what it represents...

and of what it portends for the immediate future. 

My wedding ring has been in its box for decades

(we had not gotten our rings until years after our wedding).

We had an extremely small wedding...

just her and I in a chapel at Lake Tahoe...

as we initially lived frugally...

and so...

we waited until my pay greatly increased so we could get the ones that we truly wanted

(we were not married until I was well into my career)...

and so...

it also represents a good choice I had made in my wife...

for any woman not willing to walk with me through hell...

shall not later walk with me through heaven 

(metaphorically speaking)...

and so...

it was her early dedication to me when I didn't have much...

that makes my appreciation of her even deeper

(always bet on the ants...and never on the grasshoppers in life).

I couldn't wear my ring at work...

not only because we weren't allowed to wear anything with stones in it...

but as my job had frequently involved physical altercations...

I didn't want to damage it.

But...

even since I had fully retired in 2011...

I still couldn't wear it...

as my ring and pinky fingers had been open fractured at work...

 right on the middle joints...

and even after hand surgery...

each joint of each affected finger was enlarged and sensitive...

so not only was it physically impossible to put on...

but it would have been so uncomfortable to wear even if I could have had the ring enlarged

(which I could not have, due to the embedded polished Onyx on each side of the ring).

The stone I had chosen...

a dark and genuine Sapphire...

along with polished Onyx on each side...

 represent my deeply serene underlying natural mood... 

and the natural gold I chose (verses platinum or white gold)...

also represents my personality...

instead of a standard and socially shallow and preconceived surface reflection...

but one which is colored by a truer...

 a warmer and more welcoming reflected light...

and so...

all of which represent my personality

(I had designed the ring and had it custom made to match my personality).

I naturally have a deep personality...

one which is kept hidden...

and one that is far more intense and colorful

than what one would gather from a first appearance.

As like with so many other people...

we are not what we initially may seem to be...out of caution.

We are the ones who are in the corner quietly observing...

and who employ multiple sieves to avoid the implied social obligations

and ambushes employed by the manipulative predators and parasites of society.

And...

just as with my ring...

my personality only shows the depth of its colors when light is allowed to shine within

(it is a natural life strategy many people use (usually learned early in childhood)

to avoid being thought of as strange or otherwise targeted...and so...avoided...

so instead...

people often use the mask of a very harmless and simple country bumpkin...

to help bond with others...

as most people only want superficial bonding).

As you can see...

my ring now not only fits...

but it no longer causes pain or irritation to either of my previously 

swollen and sensitive fingers.

I just put it on for these photos...

and I then put it back in its box until later next month

(the significance of which I will shortly explain).

Although my pinky and ring fingers are only just recently relatively healed

(after a couple of decades)...

I don't have complete motion or range in them...

and I still don't receive accurate feedback from them so far as pressure 

or location in 3 D space...

as I had lost some feeling in them...

which not only makes playing the guitar difficult (but is good therapy for my fingers)...

 I still inadvertently drop things out of my left hand due to not 

being able to accurately gauge the amount of pressure I am using

(I have broken many a dish and other items because of this  :)

---------

My wife's rings I will not go into now...

for she is extremely private 

(she didn't want me even mentioning her in my blogs...

partly because of her extremely private nature...

but she was also previously stalked and harassed before...

by a psycho woman who was attempting to dox her).

Ever since then...

she hadn't wanted to even be mentioned online...

until now...

well...

just so far as mentioning her.

But...

suffice it to say that her ring set was much more expensive than was mine.

I wanted her to always feel proud, like a queen, as she wore them.

But...

enough about our rings...

and on to the significance of mine for the future.

Although my wife and I have been married for several decades...

we have been geographically separated for going on 10 years now.

Due to circumstances in life which demanded our placement 

in two separate places at one time for such a long time...

(we chose to take care of loved ones who were unable to do for themselves at the time)

we could only visit each other every once in a while...

sometimes as long as a couple of years between visits.

She was the "guest" I mentioned in my blogs.

But...

starting late next month...

our need to be separated...

will finally come to an end...

and so...

it is when I will put on my ring once again to signify the re-beginning of our lives

(except when I do heavy work outside).

She and I will finally be able to live the rest of our lives together...

and so...

it will be the ending of an era...

and the beginning of a new and adventurous one.

It is with her that we will see the most beautiful places in the world...

and eat the most delicious food.

---------

First...

a picture that she allowed of her from a distance and from behind:

(photo taken in 2024...just before my move to Colorado...

when she had briefly visited me where I lived in the mountains of Reno, NV)

My wife is on the left, as she and my elder sister (on the right)

 were walking toward Lake Tahoe...

and following along a paved trail...

where they had seen some of the most beautiful spots of Lake Tahoe 

(I followed behind on my trike...taking photos).

-------

As a basic summary of her...

she is but 4'11" and 95 lbs.

(149.86 centimeters...and 43 kilograms).

She is Japanese...

from Japan.

She had originally come from a small fishing village 

on the country island of Shikoku (we will be revisiting there early next year).

And although she grew up relatively poor...

she was never without a roof over her head...

or nutritious food in her belly

(and so...her frugal nature).

She is intelligent and organized...

has a strong work ethic and morals...

a high maternal instinct...

we are of very similar hearts and minds

as we both know how to make our own selves happy...

and we have a need for personal solitude at times to pursue our own personal passions...

but most of all...

she is absolutely crazy about me

(okay...I am going to pay for that one  :)

We also enjoy doing things together...

as we both love to travel to exotic locations throughout the world

(we will plan out our trips together)...

amateur photography...

being out in places of great natural beauty in nature...

sunrises and sunsets...

exploring new places to eat...

exercise (we will trike together as well)...

and we have similar personalities in so many other ways.

We are both...

very much...

ants.

We have always worked as a team...

striving toward our major goals in life

(not to say we didn't have our moments in a stormy sea...

but they were just momentary squalls we easily rode out).

From the beginning...

while we coordinated and worked together...

we had different areas of responsibilities.

She took care of the present...

and I took care of our future.

I was the Captain of our ship...

and she was the First Mate.

I ensured we had a very sturdy ship...

 I had plotted our course to our destination carefully...

and I navigated cautiously to ensure a smooth and safe journey...

but one which would still speed us along in a timely manner...

by carefully considering money...

as I was the sole provider...

and as such...

I not only ensured we could live well...

but that our future would be filled with even greater horizons to explore.

My wife took great care of the day to day operations...

running the household with efficiency and great economy...

and had even saved us up a small fortune as a result.

I had concentrated on making money...

not only through overtime and long term investments...

but through my retirement itself (which is quite substantial)...

and of which also protects her future as well...after I die...

as she not only comes from a long-lived people...

but she has naturally low blood pressure...

and as with me...

she does nothing deleterious to her body (doesn't drink or smoke)...

eats very healthfully and exercises...

while still being quite a bit younger than am I...

and so...

I expect her to outlive me by at least 15 - 30 years.

And so...

not only is our future secure and to be filled with many great adventures...

but after my death...

hers will also be financially secure...

so she will not have a worry about anything for the rest of her life.

And...

now...to make it even better...

one of my wife's new hobbies is learning how to invest money.

She now greatly enjoys making money grow

(and she has always loved learning new dishes to cook as one of her hobbies...

and this is one of the things I greatly missed...

her cooking...

as she is so much better at it than am I).

Although...

even though we will be eating her cooking almost exclusively...

as she loves veggies and fish (as do I)...

I will specialize in BBQ and smoked meats...

and very large batch cooking...

for occasional meals...

and of course...

we will be eating out fairly often as we explore our area 

for our favorite restaurants and the many different cuisines available.

---------

And so...

back to the significance of The Ring.

As anyone knowing of my first writing effort...

The Kuma Trilogy...

and of my emphasis on the various rings carefully chosen...

and of the deep meanings behind them from the various characters...

it was, of course, taken from my own life...

 through the manifestation of my particular view on life...

 of putting forethought into everything important...

as without meaning put forth...

no meaning in life...

is derived.

My Smith & Wesson M&P 2.0 10mm

 

Song:  Fantasy (cover of original by Earth, Wind, And Fire)

Group:  Leonid & Friends

As today was the day for me to pick up my gun...

I was feeling upbeat...

and so...

the above song 

(I played it repeatedly there and back...

while attempting to sing to it...

attempting to mind you  :)

I was just heading down my mountain...

when I saw...

Bambi :)

Back at my favorite taco truck in Woodland Park

I had ordered 6 carne asada (steak) tacos.

I put verde (green sauce) on 3 of them...

along with the diced onions and cilantro and squeezed lime...

and on the other three...

I just omitted the verde...

as I sometimes like more of the meat flavor to come through.

Street tacos are just jam packed with meat.

I ate my fill.

Those tacos should quell my taco cravings for quite some time.

I then stopped in at the gun shop to pick up my 10mm...

and then headed home.

I was just a few miles from home here.

This is my Smith & Wesson M&P 2.0 4" Barrel 10mm.

It fits my hand perfectly.

I am currently awaiting delivery of my hard cast bear loads

(UPS delivery to my door).

They are supposed to arrive anywhere from now to the next few hours.

I had also ordered many accessories to add to my gun's functionality...

 some of which should arrive today in the mail...

while some others won't arrive until next week.

Once everything arrives...

I will strip down the weapon and modify some of the parts inside...

as well as in the magazines.

While this is a very good gun...

I will be firing extra heavy bullets (Buffalo Bore 220 grain)...

much heavier than standards bullets (standard bullets weigh between 155 to 180) 

as the 220 grain bullets are designed for extra penetration in a large bear or moose 

as the extra mass will provide the necessary momentum...

and as they are hard cast...

they will not fragment or flatten.

They are specifically designed to penetrate thick hide, bone, and muscle

to reach the vitals for a quick takedown in case of an emergency situation involving 

a charging bull moose or large grizzly bear

(these particular loads are a favorite in Alaska for a backup 10mm weapon).

As such...

even though it is a 10mm...

the gun wasn't tuned to the extra power and weight of the bear loads 

I will be using exclusively.

And so...

I will be replacing the stock 17 lb recoil spring and guide rod

with a much beefier recoil spring (24 lb) and heavy duty guide rod...

as well as putting in heavier springs in each of the magazines...

as the much larger rounds are heavier...

and a weak magazine spring may cause a misfeed due 

to the greater weight of the 15 rounds.

I will also be taking it out to a local outdoor firing range 

so I may run the gun through its paces under full bear loads to ensure

there are no gun malfunctions.

I will also be installing the new night/low light gun sights...

and zeroing them using a bore laser...

and I will mount the under slide flashlight.

But...

I must wait until all of my accessories and tool kit arrives.

Don't worry...

I had actually been sent to an armorer's (gun smithing) school

deep in the mountains of Northern California...

albeit decades ago...

in my old profession.

I had learned how to completely tear down each type of weapon...

and diagnose and repair problems

in revolvers...

 semi auto handguns and rifles...

and their magazines...

as well as shotguns.

I also learned how to modify parts to rectify problems...

or to simply make the guns run more smoothly.

However...

to tell the truth...

all guns are made to be simple...

rugged, and reliable...

and so...

most of it is just common sense.

Hopefully...

there will be no problems...

as my life will depend on it firing flawlessly

if I ever have to use it

(I am also well practiced in emergency clearing operations should a misfeed occur).

And so...

until I make the modifications...

and thoroughly test it...

I still have my boar spear  :)

------------

There is a particular reason I need to be ready with everything...

by the end of next month.

I will soon be explaining everything

in a future article I am thinking of titling...

The Ring.

My Trip To Freedom Arms

 

Song:  Imaginary

Group:  Evanescence

Today I went to Freedom Arms in Woodland Park.

I went to purchase a 10mm pistol so I may open carry it 

during Bandi's forest bathroom trips...

whether it be in the day or night.

I will also open carry it during my cycling around my mountain...

or in other wilderness areas around Colorado as I trike.

Just a little ways outside of Woodland Park.

Freedom Arms in Woodland Park.

I always try to support small businesses...

especially in or near my community.

This young salesman was very helpful.

I had originally thought to buy a Gen 5 Glock in 10mm...

however, he said they are not made anymore...

as they are coming out with a new model...

and that they didn't have the new model.

I had originally wanted a Glock as I used to carry a Glock in my old profession...

and I was used to its safety trigger and feel.

He then offered me to try a different maker in 10mm.

It was a Smith & Wesson 10mm.

As I held it...

I realized that the curves made it perfectly fit my hand...

even better than had the Glock...by far...

and the aggressive checkering on the grip just felt so positive

and reassuring that it would naturally ensure the same grip automatically...

which then ensured an automatic and consistent initial sight picture.

This is extremely important as it allows for immediate and intuitive aiming...

for fast and accurate shooting.

As I looked at the trigger...

I realized that it had the same trigger safety and striker plate tech of the Glock...

and the magazines dropped out immediately upon hitting the release...

very smoothly and without a hitch...

which is extremely important when doing quick reload sequences

when faced with multiple threats.

Racking the slide was also very easy as it had ribbed patterns built into the slide...

and it operated so smoothly.

This was also a 4" barrel...

perfect for my needs as I will only be using it for 

emergency surprise and very close encounters with a large moose or bear as I cycle...

or as I am taking Bandi to the forest to use the bathroom at home.

I won't be using it for target practice or longer distance shots...

and so...

I won't be needing a 6" barrel.

And even more importantly...

 the 4" barrel will allow for a smoother and quicker fast draw from the holster...

as when I may have to do so...

it will be in an extremely rapidly evolving life or death situation.

Never had I had a pistol feel just so right in my hand.

It has a familiar and comforting feel...

as if it were to say to my gun hand...

"Welcome home" :)

I am so glad the salesman had pointed me in this direction...

because for me...

it is an even better buy for me than would have been the Glock.

I will pick it up this Friday...

and although I still need many other items to complete this gun package...

I will be buying them online...

as this store was out of so many of the things I still need

(High power hard cast Bear loads - 3 boxes / chest holster with extra mag holders / 

2 extra 15 round mags (it came with two 15 round mags) / night / low light sights / 

a mountable wide angle bright flashlight / complete cleaning and tool kits / 

and a bore laser so I may zero the new sights once I swap them out).

And...

as one doesn't need to have any special skills to attach and align the accessories...

I will be doing all of the work myself.

I will detail more about this gun once I pick it up on Friday.

I was feeling good about my purchase...

and just down the street was my favorite taco truck.

There are two types of tacos that I love...

 American style with more veggies in it...

and true Mexican street style tacos...

of which is comprised of mostly meat.

I sometimes crave one or the other...

and today...

I just deeply craved street tacos.

I had ordered one carne asada taco (steak)...

and three Queso Birria tacos (shredded beef with cheese and dipping sauce).

It had been awhile since I had had a carne asada taco.

I should have just ordered all four tacos as carne asada.

I had forgotten how delicious they are.

The meat is slightly charred while still being juicy and tender.

They are now my favorite type of street taco once again.

With freshly chopped onions and cilantro...

which are then drizzled with a freshly squeezed lime wedge...

it just demonstrates why Mexican food is a world class cuisine...

as, especially with the taco...

they are just so delicious and satisfying that they are highly addictive.

Sometimes...

I just have to have them.

When I pick up my gun this Friday...

I will be certain to stop back in at my favorite taco truck...

to get nothing but carne asada tacos.

I am already looking forward to eating them again.

My drive home was as relaxing and serene as ever...

as I had been doubly satisfied...

my new gun purchase...

and having had a soul satisfying meal.

Nearing home in this photo.

I just love the clouds of Colorado.

To me...

they are flying pieces of art.