Song: That's The Way Of The World
Group: Earth, Wind, and Fire
I had gotten up before sunrise...
and began brewing some peppermint tea...
and began warming up some of the KFC chicken I had bought yesterday.
I bought a whole bucket to last me all day today.
I stay off the roads on the eve's of, and all during holidays...
as drunk drivers are at their peak during these times.
My quick, easy, and delicious Christmas morning breakfast
(...and as always...I shared some with Bandi).
I turned on the fireplace...
and sipped my peppermint tea in my recliner as I watched the sunrise...
while being warmed by the fire.
Bandi is just so cute.
It is her personality that makes her so adorable.
She is funny and affectionate.
Bandi telling me she wants to go to her forest area.
She then perks up when I say...Ok...let's go!
Bandi took her time using the bathroom
as I just looked at the fading colors of the sunrise.
I then turned off the fireplace...
took my peppermint tea up to the loft...
and began typing up this article.
------------
The following is going to be a bit wordy.
As I currently live alone (other than with Bandi)...
my only real contact with the outside world is through some pen pals...
through my blog...
and through my creative passions.
It is not that I am always wordy...
so much...
anymore :)
-----------
As I am now 66 years old...
being up here...
isolated from the craziness of the world...
I feel freedom...
not only from negative people...
but freedom from my past.
I have nothing but a beautiful future in which to look forwards.
I remember the included song from when I was in high school.
I used to love listening to it on the radio as I drove through
The Santa Cruz Mountains on my way to the ocean just on the other side.
I have always loved forested mountains...
and now...
I am living at 9,650 ft in forested mountains.
It had always been my dream to live in such a place.
And to now be able to once again to look into a future where
my dream home is now part of my present...
a home base of operations from where I may then once again...
travel to new lands...
where a whole new set of adventures lay before me...
of new cultures and cuisines to discover and to savor...
of more stories to write...
of more music to compose and to play...
of living a life so rich with wonder and playfulness...
is to have made all the earlier sacrifices worth it.
Starting next Autumn...
most everything here at home will have been protected...
planted...and stabilized.
It will mark the beginning of a new age of freedom in life for me.
It will become more of a full time bucket list fulfillment phase...
where beyond basic and infrequent home maintenance...
it will become a time of freedom to explore distant lands...
and of much more time to devote to my personal passions in life...
only because of prior planning in life which had led up to this.
For me...
time is the most valuable asset in life.
To waste it is to commit one of the greatest of personal sins.
Living life with freedom and serenity...
is only the way of the world...
if you set it up to live properly.
In order to set up our outer world how we would like it...
we must first set up our inner world properly.
I am sorry for harping on this same subject...
but it is so important.
To realize that our time is limited...
that ultimately...
death is certain...
sets our timeline in life upon which we all must operate.
You would not set upon an open ocean journey without knowing the destination.
Not only so you could properly provision your ship for the journey...
but for the hope for adventure...the anticipation of the destination...
the enjoying of the winds in your hair and upon your face as you
gaze upon glorious sunrises and sunsets.
Your dreams for the future are the trade winds of life...
the constant filling of your sails which allow for a speedy and fulfilling transit
upon glassy seas.
----------
I have felt embarrassment, shame, fear, regret...
and I have grown...
not merely from the fact that I have experienced them...
but because I had conquered them.
And NO...
not by merely forgetting them...
or by filling my life with meaningless distractions.
But through the adaptation of my behavior
to ensure those same categories of negative behaviors
were never repeated or experienced to debilitating levels.
It is called psychological death.
It is a necessary part of living a well lived life.
In order to achieve this...
it is necessary to engage in retroactive introspection.
You must be honest with yourself...
and be able to look at past situations objectively...
to run and rerun the scenarios in your head from different angles...
and perspectives...
and yes...
to assign actual personal guilt for your part in the situation
(Not all scenarios are your fault. This is an important distinction)...
by either having played a part in it...
or by having had allowed others to manipulate you into it.
However...
it is the objective ground from which you may then take positive action...
to either correct your negative behavior...
and/or to distance yourself from the manipulators / parasites...
through whom had set up the scenarios in the first place.
Either way...
it only through positive action that any positive result may occur.
-----------
Now...
it is not only through a bonehead approach to living life that I have gained wisdom
(learning through mistakes).
I...
as I suppose most people do...
also learn through others' positive and negative experiences
through close observation...
establishing cause and effect from their behaviors...
either directly or indirectly...
which are tied to the results...
either of which are positive or negative.
I...
as most people...
have also experienced and accomplished things in life...
however...
just by virtue of my age and through my varied experiences...
I have accumulated a bit more than the average person.
But...
even more so...
I am a keen observer of people and situations
(not that I cannot be fooled. I have been...and I will be in the future...
but not nearly so easily for each of the following times).
I was very shy...
not because I was timid...
but because I was cautious...
because I continually saw a disparity between words...
intonations, body language and facial expressions...
to following actions, inactions, and reactions...
in the short term, as well as in the long
(it is the facet of the dog in all of us).
------------
Okay...
I had only said the above to set the stage for the premise of my having
enough wisdom to impart upon others.
But...
before I go on...
as I have said before...
many people simply won't listen to what is said...
will not attempt to verify the message...
to reason it out on its own merits...
but will attempt to divine the intent of the messenger instead
(of course...if I am lying about the message...
wouldn't it make sense that I would also deceive about my intent?).
Key:
look for internal inconsistencies...
or to that of reality
(common sense).
But...
as it is not difficult to explain...
here I go...
once again.
Altruism?
NO
There simply is no such a thing.
All sentient organisms have the inner desire for self...
while all living organisms react to the following.
We all are driven by two basic drives:
Pursuit of pleasure
Aversion to pain
They may take on differing manifestations...
to magnify or to lessen from past, present...or as projected in the future...
but all condense to these two.
So...
this means that all actions are inherently selfish?
Yes...
and no.
Yes...
subjectively...
we are all subject to these two drives.
No (seemingly)...
if it is measured objectively through our interactions with the world.
We do things for love or duty that sometimes demand sacrifice
of our own well being...
sometimes at the sacrifice of our very lives.
Whether the drive is that of internal pleasurable feelings...
or to avoid guilt...
it is all subject to the two drives.
(Even that of one who had been conditioned to certain stimuli
to act reflexively under the face of death...
the drive is merely manifested from the beginning...
and so the resulting reflexive action was the drive manifesting
in a previously conditioned response...
and in that moment...
no thought took place...
but the basis for that action was the preset mindset as a result of the two drives).
So...
am I selfish for doling out advice?
Strictly speaking...
yes.
Subjectively...
yes.
Simply...
it makes me feel good
(it automatically doubles pleasure in life...
that of giving as well as that of receiving)...
and it keeps me from feeling guilty by not having attempted to help others
(however...all guilt dissolves should the person not listen).
Objectively...
it helps others take positive steps to improve their lives.
I feel good...
others' lives improve, so they feel good...
and all with no downside to anyone.
A Win-Win scenario.
Why?
Because that is what good men do.
We are problem solvers by nature...
and we love to help others
(perfect engineering of anything...
especially of win-win scenarios, are deeply pleasurable to good men).
We are naturally happy in life...
and we like to see others happy in life as well.
But why?
Because of empathy
(because of the mirror neurons in our brains...
we can feel what others are experiencing).
By even imagining the smile, laughter, or deep happiness of loved ones
in the movies of our minds...
or even of strangers...and even as projected far into the future...
because of actions taken by us...
makes us happy in the here and now.
So...
yes...
it all comes full circle to the inherent selfish drives we all have.
So...
I had presented the premise...
I had offered supporting rational support...
and I had come to a correct conclusion derived from the above rational argument.
(In the future...I am just going to copy and paste the above...
as it was more involved than I had initially realized :)
---------------
Now...
as a possible counter to anyone doubting my intent
(rationally...you can't)...
If someone benevolently gifted you with $1,000,000...
would you then refuse because you thought he just wanted to feel superior to you?...
or because he wanted others to think highly of him?...
or just because it makes him happy doing it?
Never get caught in the trap of divining intent purely through subjectivity.
You already know people are inherently selfish...
all of us.
What matters is the objective evidence before you.
Look at it objectively...
is the situation a win-win scenario?
And...
yes...
when I feel a little lonely...
I write in my blog to make me feel better...
to feel a little more connected with the hearts and minds of others.
I will write to a pen pal...
I will engage with my personal passions...
with the thought of giving happiness to someone...
somewhere...
either now or in the future...
to ultimately make me happy in the here and now.
So what?
Not because I am pure...
not because of arrogance so I may feel as if I were superior...
but merely because it makes me happy to do so.
I am engaging in the pursuit of pleasure.
---------------
Sorry...
I had only said the above to set the stage...
to open up the hearts and minds of anyone reading my blog...
as I have many readers from around the world
(the map doesn't accurately measure my readership...
only my blog's internal metrics fully show the various countries
which engage with my blogs).
And...
sorry once again to my regular readers...
but as I have many new readers...
and as I have given much of the same advice in my other blogs
that they have not seen...
and as the new year is upon us...
what I have to say will be repetitious.
Also...
I am well aware that there are many who live in countries
where opportunities do not exist to the extent of what is afforded us in the US.
But...
what much of what I say applies to the basics of thought and action
almost anyone can apply to their own lives almost anywhere you are.
But...
I will not bore you through this one article...
I intend to do it over many articles :)
-------------
As this year is coming to a close...
so must your past.
Do I mean to forgive and to forget your past?
Yes...
and no.
What I mean is to let go of any negative effects anything from the past
may have a hold upon you...
any misgivings...
any injustices you may have suffered...
either real or imagined.
Our real enemy in life is our own lassitude...
our own laziness...
and a twisted sense for vengeance upon our enemies in life.
Either will destroy your future if you let them.
The first will lead you towards stagnation in life...
the second will destroy your future.
So...
what will cure these if you are to NOT forgive and forget the past?
There are two main methods...
one is what you do...
and the other is what you do not do.
Aversion to pain...
one of our great teachers in life.
And...
the alleviation of it...
one of the great pleasures in life.
Not only do you not directly forget the experience...
you use it for fuel to provide the drive necessary to improve your situation
and life from that point forwards.
It also provides you with a schematic of the situation...
so you may identify the types of people who you need to avoid in the future.
It is a valuable lesson learned...
and so...
provides wisdom.
As your life improves...
leaving behind the saboteurs whose only focus was on taking down others
instead of improving their own lives...
leaves them behind in your dust...
which is a most pleasurable vengeance without destroying your own life...
and it lasts a lifetime.
But...
the drive for a better life should be so large...
so real...
that all other things in life should pale by comparison.
That dream is your mountain to summit.
It will be a long hike...
but with each step forwards...
you gain energy.
There will be many potholes in the future
(enemies...obstacles).
Do you not reach the summit before sunset because
you wish to fill in all of the potholes...
or do you simply sidestep them to keep on your path
in a timely manner so you may?
By keeping your dream alive...
and by sublimating your anger to provide yourself fuel for the future...
you are providing yourself with the most efficient and effective
method of achieving your dreams.
Remember the two basic drives in all beings:
The pursuit of pleasure
The aversion to pain
Through this method...
you stimulate both.
One...
the big dream...
pulls you ever forth.
Two...
the aversion to pain makes you avoid future pot holes...
and fuels yourself for the long hike as well.
However...
you will find that although anger burns very hot...
it has a very limited amount of fuel.
Even though you will try to stimulate the hate for more fuel...
it will eventually run out.
And so...
although you will always remember the patterns used by evil people...
your hatred of certain circumstances soon burns out.
This is how someone truly forgets
(walking through the fires of hell to reach heaven on the other side).
This applies to grief as well as to anger.
By trying to forget something...
you have to remember what you are trying to forget...
and so the fire never becomes a blaze...
and even worse...
forever remains a smoldering ember.
By burning it out...
it never reemerges.
The mind then relegates it to insignificance...
and it is soon overwritten by things of greater significance.
All that is left is being driven by your dream...
where you are pulled forwards by hope.
But...
more on that for the beginning of the New Year.
-------------
One last point...
Who am I to give such advice?
Am I enormously wealthy?
NO
Although I am comfortably retired...
I cannot be compared to truly wealthy people.
Am I especially talented...in anything?
NO...especially no.
I am quite average as a man.
I am better at some things...
and not so good at others.
Well...
WHY IN HELL DO YOU THINK WHAT YOU SAY HAS ANY VALUE?
It is precisely because I am a common man
that what I speak of is of uncommon value.
If I can reach my dreams...
almost anyone can.
Although I am not particularly rich (by US standards)...
or especially smart or talented...
I am extremely happy in life...
not only in the present...
but my future is set up to always improve
(an extremely important concept...
front loading effort and sacrifice in life...
but more on that later).
I am always happy...
and I get even more happy with the just the simplest of life's pleasures...
the serenity of the forests and the mountains...
sunrises and sunsets...
the wind upon my face...
delicious food...
exercise...
a simple country drive...
and the funny and affectionate antics of my dog...Bandi.
I deeply appreciate what I have...
and I look forward to all that life has in store for the future.
So long as I could always be assured I could have all the basics of life...
I could live very happily in a cave...
so long as I could live high up in the mountains...
with views of the sunrise and sunset...
and with me just reading...
writing...
and engaging in music.
I most value freedom in life...
and the time I have left.
A deeply fulfilling life is what we all wish for...
and it is within reach of us all...
if you but keep the dream alive...
and never stop walking towards the summit of your mountain.
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